please
Today i visited my Ahma at NUS
I was terrified
Tubes were placed into her mouth
nose
needles stuck onto her hands
Heart rate monitors beeping
who knows if it will be the last beep for her
She lies there unawake
Semi-consious
We call out to her
but silence was the answer
my heart hurts
like a blunt dagger slowly carving its way
into my chest
It hurts to see my grandmother like this
My tear ducts want to scream
Like the river nile, flowing
But i resisted
I must be strong for her
I whispered "ah ma" into her ear
I silently wish for just any hint of reply
a grunt
a nod
but none
I am overwhelmed
i look around
the machines seem to be taunting me
trying to say that its fruitless
yet i need their help
i am in a dilemma
I want to hold her hand
to reassure her to be strong
and to assure myself
but her hands are covered
with a cloth bag
so restricting
yet necessary
Her eyes were always closed
i want to see her pupils
i want to see hope
hence i pray
it was at; 4:17 AM
