lost
I am starting to doubt my faith. All this years of worshipping and praising, is God real? I start to lose my focus in church, because i cannot convince myself that God is real. I do not attend cell group so frequently now, and prayers are always slipshort and un-earnest. What is happening.
So many questions to answer being a Christian, why is life always so unpleasant, why are there seperations even in christian denominations, why did mother teresa doubt God too. I am struggling to solve this burning doubts, but its all in vain. I do not know what is true now, is Jesus real? Do i even need God? Who is God?
My results in school are not really good, and i pray with such fervour that i was on my knees, but i do not seem to see any changes. I am dissapointed at myself, and God. I once said that i would never look back after following Jesus, that i would sing of His praises forever, but those words cannot come out now. Is my life empty now that i have placed Jesus aside? I seek answers but none can answer. I know i need help, its like wearing a huge "HELP ME" sign but not wanting to receive help. Maybe its me, maybe i am weak.
If you are really out there God, whoever you are, please send me a sign. Please renew my Faith and keep me burning. My wax is running short and my wick is wearing thin. If you are real Jesus, please show me a way. For this candle for you may just die out soon. Jesus are you the King of this life, this heart...
it was at; 7:43 AM