WOW
I just had squash training today, people seem better now, the fat dude didnt turn up. my head hurts like shit due to lack of sleep but still i will blog.
Yesterday while i was on msn, my friend in secondary school asked me which church i was from, and then he asked if i could bring him there. This is like a big wow to me, all this years i have been trying desperately to invite people to church and they all turn me down with excuses, now i have my friend who willingly wants to come to church, Praise the Lord for that. After he told me that i was really excited, this was what i have been praying for all this years, the salvation of my friends and now its answered. I was really happy and estatic and it was this feeling that i have never felt before, a sense of happiness and joy and fullfillment. He told me that he needed help in his life and his school was a mission school, thats how he came to know Jesus. I guess when you are down in life, you need someone to turn to, some one who will always be there and never abandon you, that someone is Jesus.
I am not just speaking empty words, but i speak from life experiences. Last time i was never really a true christian, i was always trying to poke fun of people, laughing at them, never really living like a christian. But Jesus never forsake me because of that, he was still there, and he renewed my faith. Every week when i have troubles, i look for help, but found none. Let me quote an example, I just received the news that my grandmother is very ill and cannot even get up from her bed. Sure i can tell my friends and they can console me but there is this void that i still cannot fill, this sure panic and worriedness that overwhelms me each time i think of my grandmother. She was not just any grandmother, she was the only one who really let me see how strong a person can be, though disabled. I remember the time when i was in primary school, as my parents had to work, i would always go to my granny's house after school. It was like very routine but i always tried to make the best of everyday, i tried to buy her food, but she would just smile and say that i needed it more. there was this once i was really into skipping, as my granny was taken cared of by my maid, i would ask the both of them to help me toss the skipping rope round and round so i could jump to my hearts content. My granny is half paralyzed and though so, she used her only good hand and swung the rope, i could see it was really hard for her but she still swung and smiled at me. I guess now when i fondly recollect the memories, i find it hard not to tear.
Now shes not well and i really needed help, i was looking for answers to this very problem, i knew i was no doctor so i could not really help her, but thats when i knew i had Jesus
So i prayed for her with all my heart and i smsed my church mates to pray for her too.
Never did i know that my church mate actually called me to ask! How wonderful is that! i was expecting them to just pray for my ah ma but she actually called me and ask in concern. I was really touched and its things like that that my faith is renewed endlessly.
Today on the way home, the bus was quite packed and i was thinking to myself that what can make my day is me giving up my seat to someone who needs it more. I was just thinking that thought and listening to my music, then at the 3rd bus stop, there was this elderly that needed a seat, and i gave it to her. In my heart was this sense of happiness that can never be expressed. You will know that when u help someone. So through this i find Jesus very real in my life and thats why i live for him, he helped with all his heart and never expected anything in return, through his examples am i able to follow and now i know why he never expected anything in return, cause what you receive from helping is more than enough. Thus i wish that you could too experience this and that whenever a helping hand is needed, please extend yours
it was at; 4:27 AM
My ah ma cannot get up from her bed, please pray for her to get well.Sad...
it was at; 4:32 AM
Guess what my sec sch made it into the news for? Its officially flooded! wow gosh how could it be flooded in our tiny island singapore? Was it a curse? how about a retribution? wells i am not sure but let me share my finest thoughts when i saw that my own sec sch made it into the news!
first i flip open the newspaper and i was reading life section, after that i moved on to home. As i flipped open the crisp newspaper, i saw a picture of two indian girls knee deep in a flooded area. I was thinking " o my, how sad for the sch students in malaysia, such poor living conditions, really pity them" however my eyes caught the sight of my ex-sch's uniform( after staring at it for 4 years i noe how to spot a real one from a fake) . After close examination, i exclaimed" WOW IT IS MY EX-SCH" and its in the news, although not for the right reason, but heck we had never had such a big picture delicated to the plight of our students before! Horray for moving the first step(though in the wrong direction) ! hahas now at least our little island would be able to see for themselves the understanding that the school gives the students, even though it was flooded, it was still neccessary to go to school! how can they miss sch! it is so important that students have to fight though muddy water and stain their snow white socks just to hear what words of gold that come out of the teachers mouth, especially so in my ex- sch! how sensitive and caring of them to not even provide them the permission not to go to sch! bet those students really valued their lessons that day!
education is important folks! so cannot skip sch cause of flood!
it was at; 5:33 AM
Two types of people i hate in this world, the arrogant kind and the selfish kind. Unfortunately i would have to share my experience of meeting this two kinds of people today.
Today i went to try out for squash, i suppose the people who all signed up actually have no training in squash and is there to pick up a new sport. I tried and fortunately i got selected out of the rest of the people. there were a total of 8 selected. later we played amongst ourselves and i found this fat dude really pissing me off, of course i didnt put my thoughts in actions if not i would have delivered a punch to him. We were all playing friendly games and trying to let the other opponent hit the ball as we were all begineers and thus we wanted to gain experience in tryin to continue the game as long as it could. But this slimy BASTARD was playing really nastily, he kept doing those light shots and just letting the ball bounce off the wall preventing the other player from getting a good shot at it. I agree we all play to win, but we win with integrity, playing like this on everyones first shot at squash really made me annoyed. The way he played did not show that he was good at it, but instead it showed how foxy he could be, that just ticked me off really bad. His face was all smiles when he won with underdox medthods that also pushed the annoying meter past its orginal mark. Another dude was ok he didnt use any "slimy" medthods to win but he kept prep talking, he was talking about how good he was, and if someone defeated him, he just could not accept it without saying that it was luck.
As we were all new and none of us had rackets, we were using the school's rackets, the boy i just mentioned that was arrogant had his own. so clutching it like his family jewels, he refused to share it with any of us, this action though small and may seem insignificant, i would not rely much on him if i was short of anything.
Therefore i had come to the conclusion that black sheep does screw up the whole flock and this impression that was left on me on the first day does not motivate me to go for next week's training. Maybe i should quit squash
it was at; 1:37 AM
Please pray for my church friend lousie, pray that she will recover soon with Jesus to lead the way. many thanks
it was at; 3:32 AM
I went to church fellowship today and learnt about friendship. I think its true for me that when i look for a friend i look for sth that we have in common, which is our everlasting God. This example that my cell leader raised made alot of sense to me and i find that it is very true in our everyday lives. Let me ask you a question, if you and another person had nothing at all in common, would you still be that persons friend? nothing at all, not even the same sch same likes or dislikes, absolutely nothing at all. I personally find that impossible. Lets say i like to cook and my friend too likes to cook. But after a while i lose interest in cooking and while my friend still does not, after a while we do not really click anymore. Thus i believe that whenever i look for a new friend i look for that something that is everlasting, which is our faith in Jesus Christ. He is the alpha and the omega, the beginning and the end, therefore my friend and i will always have something in common, something everylasting. I personally find that this is very helpful in a relationship.
To those who are my friends but have yet not to come to know Jesus, then it will be my responsibility to let you know Him and so that we can forge a bond that is everlasting. In the bible there is jonathan and david, they were great friend because of two things. One is the honesty in one another, jonathan's father wanted to kill david as he was afraid that the throne would go to david. But as david's good friend, jonathan was willing to give up the throne and even going against his father's wishes just to save and warn his best friend david. The pure honesty and trust they have in each other i something i wish to learn from. Second thing is that God was in their relationship, so both of them had a common faith and that faith created a stronger bond between the two of them such that jonathan could say that he loved david more then his own life.
Therefore now i know that there are two elements in a long lasting friendship or relationship, that is honesty, and a common belief. I wish to share this with all my readers as i find it very useful personally.
Another thing my teacher mentioned today which i found was true was that our circle of friends gets lesser and lesser each day, as i move from primary school in which anyone whose name i know was my friend to now my college life which i only mix with either my classmates or group mates. thus the lesson learnt is that to treasure each and every friendship i have now and not lose it easily. this does not come easily as sacrifices have to be made for this to happen. Time and companionship is some of the factors that drive a friendship to the ends of the world. An example would be waiting for your friend at the bus-stop for his bus before you take your leave, even though you could have long went home. This are the little things in a relationship that make it happen and make it last.
So treasure your friends now! =)
it was at; 3:12 AM
My ah ma is not feeling well, please pray for her.
it was at; 3:57 AM
Jc is really different from sec sch. the timetable does not have lessons after lessons. there are breaks in betweens and its lecture style. so if you do not get what the lecture is about, too bad. i have never really had any lessons in the classrooms since monday, wonder how it will be like. one class has only around 20 students , half of my sec sch class. freedom is too vague a word to be used to describe jc life, maybe carefree is a better word. no one really cares if you attend the lecture anot, it just boils down to your grade.
O lvl results are going to be released on the 5 of feb i heard, i really hope that i can do well and make it into one of the mission based school. strongly feel that mission schools have a better school spirit, judging from my primary and secondary school. I went back to my former sec school on monday and not surprisingly i was not really welcomed there. teachers were hardly friendly and warm, cold i would say towards my friends and i. well thats the treatment you get for not making it into the top 5 jc's in Singapore. i bet if i would to go back to my primary school, my former teachers would welcome me with open arms. thats one difference between a mission based and a non mission based school.
feeling very tired now and feverish, maybe its the weather thats why i am feeling down. well just happy that i am now classified into my class everyday in jc and not og. not that my og sucks or anything like that, just that sometimes there is no connection between me and them. hopefully i can find that in my class.
it was at; 2:14 AM
it was at; 3:56 AM
first thing, i hav to reach my damn jc at 7am in the morning, while half of the population is still in their slumber and guess what, there was still a damn traffic jam before my jc. So i went in seeing my friends and was happy but only for a short while. Later i was bombarded by talks and talks and talks, first by the principal who cannot even differenciate between singular and pural adding a "s" whenever he likes it. He always calles terms by the so-called what, screwed up sentence structure and not even the least friendly. For example he also uses redundant words like "your parents give u pocket money in your pocket" like duh who the hell doesnt know. Such low standard of a principal makes me doubt the ability of the teaching staff. And hell he still has the cheek to brag that in china people pay him 100,000 ren ming bi to talk in a 3 day course, screwed up character with limited vocab and a weak command of english= my jc's principal. He even said that he does not welcome us as we exceeded the 'dream' population of 1500 as we flooded it with 1800 although the campus was built for 2004 or 2400 i do not know as his words were as clear as muddy water. So he said that if we did not like it here we could "get out" those were his exact words, "get out" what a friendly way to greet his would be students, bet he lost some students after saying that.
After the talks by the lousy english speaker who by some miracle became jc principal and adding to the collection was another lousy english speaker who i know is the DM of the school. His vocab is wonderfully limited and so is his english. Screw they should just speak in chinese. We had many many many cheers and their so called(as used by the principal) family time until we skipped lunch and lunch was replaced by miserable snacks. First time in my life i ate 5 oero biscuits for lunch and it lasted me till 7 when they finally had the sane mind to release us before i crawled home for a much looked forward meal.
tomorrow is the start of their so-called orientation camp, which they are so proud of, doubt it will change the impression that i had of them anyways.
just in case you will dunno, i hate this
F!*@ing JC
it was at; 4:36 AM
wow its already 2007 already! My o lvl year is gone and whats left are footprints of memories... feelings now are mixed, kinda happy that the new year is here but sad that the hand holding on to secondary school life is letting go. time seems to fly so fast, that in a whirl my o levels are over, regrets complains and stress, i had it all.
I see people on the television screaming 5,4,3...2...1 too fast..its all too fast.
I count my regrets one by one as countdown draws near.
Ending it all with a prayer
That the new year will be better
I wish that a metorite will strike me
to break me from this painful recollection
laughter in the classroom
getting scolded together
i miss them all
i miss my friends
its just the start of the new year
and everyday i think of my classmates
i dream up a school day
grabbing on to the tiniest bit of memory
reliving it to the max
Npcc days are over
days of torture
days of anger
days of pain
missed
Days of staring at the clock with my pals
Mentally forcing the minute hand to move faster
Are regretted
But all in all
glad the big exam is over
And i still have God by my side
never isolating me
never leaving me
always loving me
and of course my church friends
who share the pain and the joy
of school life
who move on with me
and assure me that
each week
i will see the same faces
with reassuring smiles
telling me
that they will be there
so my lifesong sings
that i will live this year
to glorify God's name
forever
always!
it was at; 6:13 AM
